AND THEN I'M GOOONA GO AN' BUY ME AN INFLATABLE DOLL TO TAKE TO THE PROM...HAHAHAHHAHA.
so. i signed up for this credit card. and i thought i'd have no problem getting said credit card. i make a good salary. have never been in debt. shouldn't have any Credit Events to mar my relatively short credit history. but no. citibank denied me. and because my "total credit obligations (which include outstanding credit card lines) when compared to my stated income, are too high to meet [their] approval guidlines."
in this environement where anyone's a potential terrorist and we have no privacy and companies will sell your personal information for a dime and a piece of gum, THE ONLY REASON I COULD HAVE TOO MANY OUTSTANDING LINES OF CREDIT IS THAT MY IDENTITY HAD BEEN STOLEN! ('who am i? where's my identity? is it in my pocket? NO! someone took it?!!!!") at any rate, in between heart attacks 4 and 5, this is the reasonable conclusion i jump to. and i immediately pony up the dough to check out my credit report online. i'm a little nervous when they ask me to verify my [recently stolen] identity by giving the zip codes for some of my past addresses and one of my past addresses is in Wyoming. ("have i ever even BEEN to wyoming, forget live there? i don't remember because my IDENTITY HAS BEEN STOLEN!") finally i prove that it is indeed I, she of stolen identity, or at least the me that was before i became a cattle farmer in wyoming...and they're right. i do have a ton of lines of credit. credit cards with $50k limits. balances of thousands of dollars on my multiple credit cards. i mean, i must because that's what the credit report is telling me... so i have about 15 more heart attacks (the number of heart attacks now commensurate with the amount of debt my new identity is in.) i am trying to figure out what to do. to understand how i could have had this one credit card since 1994. why it says i have an american express card... "i've never had an american express card! only my parents had an american express ca- WAIT. ONLY MY PARENTS HAD AN AMERICAN EXPRESS CARD. AND MULTIPLE LINES OF CREDIT. AND CHARGE THINGS LIKE COLLEGE TUITION ON CREDIT CARDS TO GET MILES AND THUS HAVE HUGE LINES OF CREDIT. ONLY. MY. PARENTS. ONLY MY PARENTS WOULD RUIN MY CREDIT THROUGH YEARS OF RUNNING HIGH CREDIT CARD DEBT. sobsobsob.")
so. anyway. short story long, i guess i won't be getting that year of 0% financing on all purchases, but at least my identity as the child of fiscally irresponsible parents is intact. phew!*
*it's gonna be a creaky start back up here, so bear with me as i get my "sea legs". "b legs"? meh. whatever.
heh. you better cut them off before they go charging pizza, beer, golf clubs, and a trip to vegas.
Posted by: ethan | August 18, 2005 at 03:30 PM